“I Don’t Have a Purpose and I Don’t Have a Drive Either. What Do I Do?” Don’t Panic.

About 7 weeks ago, I moved across the country from New Jersey to Texas and during that road trip I quickly talked about what a purposeful-driven life is on social media. Shortly after the video I was asked, “What if I don’t have a purpose or drive?” First and foremost, everyone has a purpose. Second, take a deep breath and say, “I am ready to begin my journey of open possibilities and endless lessons.” Okay, here we go…

A lot of people give up on their dreams, some have never tried, some are almost there, and there’s others who are achieving all of their dreams and more—which one are you? Unless you’re achieving all of your dreams/wants/goals/needs you might be feeling “stuck;” searching for what your purpose is on this Earth(?). Maybe you’re working at a dead-end job, not putting time and energy into your hobby like you said you would, and/or not evolving and growing as you would like. Maybe you dropped out of college and want to go back, but don’t know what to major in, or perhaps you don’t want to go back to school and only want to spend your energy on what you’re passionate about. Living a purposeful-driven life is not only identifying your purpose, but finding what drives you to continue your journey. Below are some helpful tips that truly changed my life. I hope they transform yours too.

Finding Your Purpose and Drive

1. A vision board. If you have no idea what your purpose is, this really shouldn’t be optional. You need to stop what you’re doing and go invest your time in making one. I promise you it will change your life. I also want to duly note that when you’re creating your vision board—dream the impossible. Hey, you never know! Add your dream job, your dream vacation, and what you think your future should look like in 5-10 years. A vision board changes your mindset. In addition, as

you grow and evolve as a person your vision board will change--don't set an expectation that everything on your vision board must be completed. Vision boards are a valuable resource, not a guarantee. Also, make sure you have your vision board visible for you to see every single day (this step is extremely important!). Now when you’ve completed your vision board, look at it in a holistic point of view. What are the commonalities? Trends? Themes? You may find that your energy, time, and money needs to be spent on those things only. You may find out that you’re selling yourself short. No matter what you find though, good news or a lesson to learn, your vision board will help you find your purpose. Here is a quick guide and free printable cards to get your vision board started: https://www.tailoredbytiera.com/2017/03/free-printable-vision-boards/#comment-68

Sentence Starter: My purpose is: _________________________________ (make sure you put this on your vision board when completed!)

2. This exercise makes everything visible for you and allows you to create a plan to change any negative situations immediately: make a list of everything that sucks in your life. Honestly. Write down what hurts you, what you wish you could change, the stress in your life, etc. I did this exercise on a friend and she said, “Where do I even start?” Well, put 20 minutes on your timer and just start making your list. It will come to you naturally. You may get emotional, let it all out. This could possibly be your drive: you may never want to feel how you’re feeling right now ever again. Write it down! Once you’re finished, you may need to take a break and reflect and that’s okay. When you’re ready to move on to the next step: circle the situations YOU can control—this will become your drive. I want to also point out that your drive can be based on your emotions and that’s perfectly fine too! My fear of being homeless again, drives me; the feeling of relief when I pay off a student loan, drives me. What drives you is usually what makes you and the closest people around you happier, less stressed, and ultimately loving your life even more. Don’t forget to let go of what you cannot control, which is a lot easier to be said than done; however, you now have a tangible list of situations that you can control, focus on your list. And when you feel like nothing is working: go back to your list and remind yourself why you’re doing this. Remember: everything worthwhile takes time. Use this free worksheet as a starting point: https://lindamenesez.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/The-Circles-of-Life-Knowing-Where-to-Focus-for-the-Greatest-Impact.pdf

3. (Optional) Put a time stamp on your goals and list the reasons on how you’re going to accomplish them! It’s kind of like going to the gym (or making any goal really). For example, in 2 months I will lose 5lbs. by not eating after 6pm, exercising 3x a week, and only eating out 4x/month. Here’s a few sentence starters that can help with your timeline:

a. In [x amount of time] I will accomplish [insert goals].

b. By [x amount of time], I will be happier because of [insert the reasons].

c. By [x amount of time], I know my life is purposeful by [insert reasons].

Now that you have a general purpose and drive, it’s now time to execute on your dreams! On your vision board, there should be plenty of goals that you can start attaining, learning more about, and/or wildly exploring. If I could do this all over again, I wish I could treasure the memories and moments of the times when I was exploring what my purpose was. Be present in your journey and find what makes you smile. Go visit that museum, watch that documentary, or read a how-to. You’ll find your purpose depending on how much energy and time you spend on finding it...you’ll know your purpose when your drive never leaves you.

The Sacrifices

We all define success differently. We all have different purposes and drives, but are you now willing to make the sacrifices to make your dream become a reality? It’s not only going to take a vision board and finding what drives you, the harsh reality that many don’t speak about—are the sacrifices you’ll have to face. Your drive might be losing 5lbs, finding true love, becoming famous, saving more money, doing better than your brother/sister, paying off credit card debt, going back to college, being the first generational college graduate in your family, investing, getting a bigger apartment, or buying your dream car—whatever it is, if you’re not willing to make sacrifices, big and/or small, your dreams will always be a distant memory and that is NOT what we truly want! I didn’t enjoy sleeping on an air mattress, not having heat or electricity, or eating frozen burritos because they were only $3 dollars for eight of them—but those were the sacrifices I made. Hopefully yours won’t be as extreme. Maybe yours could include: making your coffee at home and saving that money for what drives you. Perhaps it could be taking one hour a day to learn more about the business you’ve always wanted to open or learning how to crotchet. Maybe you’ll have to sell your clothes, get a second job, go to school at night, move back home so it’s rent free, walk away from uneasy situations, remove someone close in your life because they don’t support you—there will always be a sacrifice.

A wise person once said, “Often people who criticize your life are the same people that don’t know the price you paid to get to where you are today.”

The worst thing that anyone can do while trying to figure out their purpose is to just wait for something to happen in your life. It just doesn’t work like that. Some of these sacrifices will be too hard for some people to face; some of these sacrifices will be easy because it’s the only choice you have. A purposeful-driven life is knowing what fuels you to live the most authentic life for yourself, and you’ll be surprised by the rewards it gives back when you’re living your dream; your destiny; your purpose.

I love you all and I pray for continual blessings during this journey of yours to a purposeful-driven life. Shoot me a picture when your vision board is complete—I can’t wait to see!



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